August 4, 2012

 Our adoring Elders invited us to go to a birthday party for, we thought, a Young Woman age girl who is a non-member friend of Magret Tunye and attends church and seminary with her regularly. She is about 14 years old, and is very shy so we thought that it would mean a lot to her if we attended.  Sister Tunye had also told us about the birthday party, but she isn’t always that easy to understand and we just assumed it was for Magrets friend. 

We met the Elders at the Tunye’s then proceeded across the road to find a big circus-like tent covering the area between some houses. In the front was a table covered with a large bug net on which set soda pop, bowls of snacks, and a big cake with happy birthday 21 on it. There were balloons all around and five rows of chairs set up. We found some available seats in the rear and sat down, saying hi to those around us and just making small talk between ourselves. We started to notice that we were the center of attention for most people. Soon some of the adults told the children sitting in the front to pack up and get out I guess, because the children moved and we were motioned by hand gestures to occupy the seats in the front. We found all of the attention rather flattering but the whole set up was a little strange. We were going to a 14 year olds birthday party who we didn’t know very well, and were going to sing happy birthday to her, maybe have a piece of cake and leave. Now we find ourselves the center of attention at what we can only guess is the birthday party for someone we have never met but is turning 21 years old. What do we do and how can we get out of here after all the attention we have been given? We figured there is no way we can leave without insulting somebody, even if we don’t know them, so we decided to just smile a lot and ride this one out and see where it takes us.

After we sat there for some time more people showed up and the event started.  Behind the table were chairs where the guest of honor, her mother, the aunt, somebody we never did figure out who she was and the Master of Ceremonies sat. 

The MC began by saying that we are here to have a good time and that people were invited up to say a few words about Xabilsia but when you speak you pay. She then took out some money, put it in a bowl and said some stuff to Xabilsia. Then somebody in the back started singing and everybody joined in singing, clapping and dancing. Now we don’t know what they were singing about because it was all in Xhosa, but we joined in clapping and moving and just having a good time. Then all of a sudden they just stopped and sat down, so we sat down. Then somebody else did the same thing. They got up, spoke awhile, put some money in the bowl, people started sing, dancing and clapping and just having the best of times.

Next to speak was Xabilsia mom who expound on her child for well over 40 minutes all in Xhosa. I swear she talked the whole time without ever taking a breath. It seems that here when a woman turns 21 it’s the rights of womanhood and they make it a very big deal.

One speaker after another followed the same pattern. Someone would speak, they would sing some more and then someone else gets up.  There had to be at least 15 people do this….singing…someone gets up…singing…someone gets up…ALL in Xhosa….although every once in a while someone would say “President” everyone would look at Rick nod their heads and smile.  We had no idea what they were saying about us but we trusted that they were kind words.  Sister Tunye tried her best to interpret for us, but like I said she is also hard to understand especially when speaking softly.  About 1 ½ hours into this, the Elders, you know the ones who got us into all of this, told us they had an appointment they needed to be at, got up and left us sitting there. They said they would be back but somehow I think they had just found a good way to exit this situation while we didn’t. 3 hours into the celebration they came back only to find things going just the same as when they left.  Yes, they were surprised!  None of us had ever been to a Xhosa birthday party before so we don’t know if they are all the same, but we can tell you how one went on August 4, 2012.  When things finally did get towards the end, the young lady conducting the party asked President Stumm if he would like to say something to Xabilsia which he nodded no….she wouldn’t let him off and said it would really be an honor to have him say something.  Of course, he didn’t know what to say since he really didn’t even know the girl.  But, he went up, put some money in the bowl and said that he really didn’t know Xabilsia but said if she was as nice as her mother then she was doing all right.  Of course, the mom loved that.  After that, a man, we assumed was a minister of some sorts stood up and said a few words and since Rick spoke English, he would also.  It was then his duty to pour champagne and offer a toast.  They went around giving everybody glasses and the pouring them some champagne for the toast. When we told them that we don’t drink alcohol they stopped the toast and everyone waited until some sprite was found for us to drink and the toasting began.  

After all the toasting the minister asked Rick to leave a blessing on the young woman and then offer the final prayer. He managed to, but it was quite uncomfortable for him.   Evidently, anytime a white person comes into the township, especially after dark, and attends anything like this, it is quite an honor to the Xhosa people and you are treated with great respect, which we were.  Food was served afterwards, we ate, said our good byes and then left after only a short 4 ½ hours.  It was certainly an experience we will always remember but hope to not have to do again.